Debating 101: What Grandpa Taught Me

Hi all! I’m baaaack, after a lengthy hiatus occasioned by end-of-semester craziness, international travel, grant deadlines, and vacation. I hope you are all having a wonderful summer with a good balance of rest, reflection, and meaningful work.

Recently , I visited my grandparents in upstate New York. My grandpa is a highly accomplished scientist and a wonderful person, and he has had an enormous influence on my personal and professional development. One of the things I learned from him (as soon as I was old enough to have my own opinions which were distinct from those of my parents) was how to have a debate. If we have to use labels, I would say my grandfather is a conservative Republican, while I…am not. We’ve had many spirited discussions over the years on topics ranging from foreign policy to science to religion to environmental conservation. While I almost never changed my opinion as the direct result of talking to my grandpa, I always walked away from these discussions with what I now realize are the hallmarks of a ‘good’ debate experience: (1) I learned something; (2) I felt respected and listened to; (3) I considered perspectives on the topic I hadn’t previously thought about; and (4) I found some common ground despite our disagreements.

Looking back on my debate training in the Schmitt household, I now realize how unusual it was that we had so many healthy debates, in contrast to what I often see around me that passes for debate (i.e. people screaming insults at each other). The themes of this blog are diversity (in academia and elsewhere) and complex problem-solving. While we have established that a diversity of viewpoints is an asset for gaining new perspectives on problems, this is only true if we are able to listen to and productively engage with these viewpoints, including those that differ from our own. In honor of my grandfather therefore, here are my top ‘don’ts’ and ‘do’s’ for debating someone (because I want to end on a positive note).

Don’t name-call. It may seem that this doesn’t even have to be said, but judging from the state of my Facebook and Twitter feeds, and what passes for debate on cable news (see above), it absolutely does. Variants of name-calling include dismissing someone else’s sincerely held belief through sarcasm or caricature, or questioning the integrity of someone who disagrees with you.

Don’t ‘man-splain’. The essence of this concept is, ‘condescendingly explaining something to someone who has more experience with/knows more about the topic than you do’. Of course this doesn’t mean that you can’t have an opinion on something you haven’t directly experienced, but it does mean you should be humble and respectful and realize you don’t know everything! My grandfather always listened to my experiences with respect and took me seriously, and I tried to do the same for him.

Don’t be afraid to change your mind. While it’s unlikely that a single conversation or debate will change your long-held belief on a topic, a good debate should help you to learn something. When we learn, we update our ‘mental models’ of the way the world works. I have great admiration for people who are honest, humble and courageous enough to admit they have changed their minds on a topic as the result of new information. My grandpa eventually came to accept the science behind anthropogenic global warming, despite initial skepticism, and I respect him greatly for that.

Do acknowledge that your experiences affect your beliefs and worldview, just as they do others’. Eventually, this is the conclusion I drew from the fact that my grandpa and I, both (I would like to think!) intelligent and informed individuals, could think so differently about the world. Our experiences of the world have been fundamentally very different, and that affects the ways in which we interpret new information and form conclusions. That is not right or wrong, good or bad—it’s just part of being human. One of the things that drives me bonkers is when someone insists that my view is subjective and biased, but their view is totally objective and unbiased. People who say things like this are not very humble or self-reflective.

Do consider credible information that challenges your beliefs and opinions. It helps to know that humans in general are very bad at this—we all suffer from what experts call ‘confirmation bias’, which means that we retain information that supports our previously-held beliefs and reject information that contradicts them. But if we are honest and self-reflective enough, we know that in most cases complex issues have multiple nuances, and different sources of information can shed light on those nuances, including some which are anathema to us. If I’m debating someone, and they are providing information that seems to be credible (e.g. peer-reviewed research; data from a neutral source---not ‘I read a blog once that said…’), but makes me feel uncomfortable, that is often a sign that it’s contradicting one of my beliefs. At that point, I try to stop my knee-jerk reaction to ignore the information and rather make a mental note of the source, so that I can learn more about it after the debate. Maybe it will help me to update my worldview!

Do try to find common ground. If you’re just debating for the sake of fun/intellectual exercise, this may not be necessary. If, on the other hand, you are trying to actually solve a problem, it’s essential. A wise faculty member at my university who has served as a facilitator/moderator during negotiations between the Auto Workers and the auto manufacturers taught me this about conflict resolution: If you stick to an ideological position, you’re in deadlock with your ‘opponent’. If you move towards talking about values, and what aspects a solution would have to have in order for you to feel comfortable with it, you might find surprising new options that satisfy both parties. Maybe Congress could try more of this??

All of that said—feel free to debate me on this or any other topic. Just be aware, I’m kind of great at debating—I learned from the best! Thanks, Grandpa.